Ficlet: It's Only Love (Smallville, Chlark)

[spikeysgrl18]

This is completely random, and was meant to be kind of a drabble, maybe a couple hundred words. It ended up being close to 2,000 words. If you read, drop me a comment. This is my first real Chloe/Clark story in...well...ever. 

It’s Only Love

Author: Jami

Pairing: Chlark Angst

Summary: Chloe thinks about her relationship with Clark.

Spoilers: All seasons are up for grabs. Nothing really spoilerly for season 6 though.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Big surprise. Superman and Smallville are all property of their respective owners/producers.

Feedback: Is loved and adored and highly appreciated J 

There are times when Chloe wonders if Clark Kent ever thought of her as more than a friend or a sidekick. Sure, there had been that one blissful moment their freshman year when he had stuttered and stammered so charmingly as he did the unthinkable and asked her to be his date to the dance. He had been clutching a pitchfork, of all things, and yet she couldn’t remember a time where he looked more adorable, hair slightly mussed and his grin crooked. She knew, even then, if Lana hadn’t been with Whitney, if Clark actually had a backbone when it came to his love life, that she wouldn’t have been the recipient of his clumsy but sweet adoration and still she let herself believe that he truly wanted to be with her. With her above all else, and everyone else.

 

And in the end he left her standing alone, on a night that had been so perfect, as he went searching for Lana. She always knew he had a serious hero complex, but then she hadn’t understood where it came from. Now she knew.

 

She wasn’t sure if that made things much better.

 

Then there was the time when he had been sick and it had scared her more than anything else ever had. Clark Kent didn’t get sick. Heck, he didn’t even get the sniffles. Seeing him lying on his couch, Mr. Kent hovering concernedly over him before leaving her and Clark alone, looking to the world like he was at death’s door, it was one of the most frightening experiences of her life. So she abandoned all pride, her confidence bolstered shamefully by the fact that he was unconscious, and she poured her heart out to him.

 

“I’m the girl of your dreams, masquerading as your best friend.”

 

And then he called out for Lana. It was in that moment she knew what being stabbed in the heart must have felt like.

 

He and Lana spent months tip-toeing around her, trying their best to not hurt her feelings but all the while sending each other lovelorn glances from across the room. Chloe wasn’t ashamed to admit there were moments when she just wanted to scream at them to just get a room, or at least wait until she was out of the room to make moon-eyes at each other. It would have been common decency really.

 

When she found out that he and Lana were officially ‘more than friends’, a moment seared into her brain permanently, she handled it badly. Despite her occasionally ruthless reputation in school, she wasn’t a vengeful, vindictive person. On any other day, at any other time she would never have actually accepted an offer from Lionel Luthor. But she wasn’t perfect. She was human and more than anything she was a girl in love. And love makes you do the wacky.

 

What followed was one of the worst years of her life, spent playing puppet to Lionel. Honestly, she had hoped never to tell Clark about the devil’s bargain she made but the choice was taken out of her hands when he managed to overhear her conversation with the elder Luthor. She was sure their friendship was over then and there.

 

When he tried to run her over with his truck she was pretty sure that meant she wouldn’t be getting any Christmas cards in the mail this year from the Kent family.

 

But it turned out that someone else had been trying to kill her, one on a list of many sadly.

 

Her hopes had risen after he searched long and hard for her after her supposed death at the hands of Lionel Luthor. She still remembered the feel of his arms around her, solid and strong, as he pulled her to him in relief, seeing for himself that she was alive. Clark gave the best hugs. He is so big that she gets swallowed up by his body, head pillowed in soft, warm flannel, inhaling a scent that is pure Clark Kent. He smells of grass and hay, and a little something else that is just him. She had never been happier to see him.

 

The rest of the year was less than stellar.

 

Alicia came back, Chloe found out once and for all that Clark really had been lying to her all these years, and she had to deal with the fact that her best friend didn’t trust her. With Pete gone, she had never felt more alone. Prom came and went. She was crowned queen and Clark danced with Lana. Even in what should have been her shining moment, somehow it still managed to be all about Clark and Lana. But apparently she had tried to attack him with an axe, so that made her feel a little better. Sure, she had been possessed at the time, but still.

 

When Lex had dragged her to the caves, meteors crashing down to earth in sickening explosions all around them, there was a real moment when she thought she might very well die. Usually she tried not to dwell on such thoughts, but it was a little hard to ignore impending death. But when that light shone from the other side of the cave, all thought left her. She vaguely remembers shoving Lex so hard into the rocks in the vain hope that it would render him unconscious before stepping past him without even a backward glance. After that things get fuzzy. The light got brighter. A sudden unnatural pulse went through her body. The next time she opened her eyes she was freezing her ass of in the middle of Arctic.

 

Clark told her his secret that day. He didn’t really have much of a choice, but it was still nice to hear. To hear him be completely, totally honest with her. It was a rare moment. Her best friend was an alien. But he was still very much the man she loved, not that she would ever tell him that. Clark thought she was over her feelings for him and there was no good reason to tell him the truth. That would only lead to awkwardness between them.

 

A lot happen this past year. Clark was mortal for awhile. Completely human. What a jip, she finally found out her friend was some sort of superhero and then he went all normal on her. Didn’t last long though. Soon enough he was back to his super self. After that everything went down hill.

 

Mr. Kent died. Clark and Lana broke up. Lana turned to Lex for comfort. In the meanwhile Chloe had just tried her best to be there for Clark, lend him an ear, a shoulder, anything. And then the apocalypse hit. Bad timing as always.

 

Lex was as good as gone, Lana was furious at Clark and she was pretty sure some of her roommate’s anger was directed at her as well, and Clark just looked lost. He and Lex hadn’t really been friends in years, but that didn’t make the idea of possibly having to kill him any easier.

 

The car careening through the window of The Daily Planet had taken Chloe completely by surprise and only Clark’s agile reflexes kept her from being road-kill. Shaken all she could do for a long moment was cling to him in relief, but soon enough their embrace broke and they were reminded of the serious threat at hand.

 

He took a step toward the door, not ready or even close to prepared to do what he had to do, and to this day she wasn’t sure why she did it. Maybe it was the potential death factor. She was pretty sure Clark would come out of this whole mess unscathed, or relatively so, but there was a good chance she might not. And she couldn’t imagine the last time she ever saw him ending on such an emotionless note.

 

She stopped him, said something about never seeing him again, and then they were kissing. At first she wasn’t sure how he’d respond, but before she knew it he was kissing her back. And she didn’t know if his fervent response was due to her or the situation, but at that moment she couldn’t have cared less.

 

Watching him leave was painful and she found herself standing in the newsroom, unsure what to do. Clark had a mission, he could be useful. Chloe was just a girl who was way in over her head. She wasn’t used to feeling so helpless.

 

She really did nearly die that night, and it turns out so did Clark. He wasn’t injured, but being trapped in a void for eternity was pretty equal to death. She wondered if he could ever truly comprehend how elated and unbelievably happy and relieved she had been to see him, alive and relatively well, after the whole Zod debacle. If it was any consolation, Clark had looked pretty relieved himself when he saw her.

 

Chloe was a realist. Pragmatism was at the heart of journalism, so she knew she should have seen it coming. That kiss-their kiss-had been in the heat of the moment. They had thought they would never see each other again. Plus it wasn’t like he had initiated it. But he certainly didn’t seem to mind at the time. Still, she failed to erect that wall around her heart that she had worked so hard at building all these years. She let herself embrace the possibility that there might be a real future for Clark Kent and Chloe Sullivan, together.

 

Surprise wasn’t one of the emotions she felt when Clark, seated beside her in the loft of his barn, awkwardly brought up the events of ‘that night’, as she had begun referring to it in her head. He looked uncomfortable, nervous, and instinctually she knew whatever he had to say wouldn’t be good.

 

It amazed her how little effort it took for her to bring up those familiar walls again, and to be honest it made her a little sad that it came to her so easily.

 

He murmured something about it just being ‘one of those things’ and ‘not a mistake’ but he and Lana had just broken up and he ‘couldn’t be in another relationship right now’. She nodded the whole time, just letting him talk, and silently berating herself for not preparing better for when this day came.

 

“I just don’t want this to get in the way of our friendship,” Clark admitted, his voice stronger and more confident now that she hadn’t burst into tears at the first sign of his rejection, “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, Chloe.”

 

She smiled, like she always did. A little too wide, a little too sweet. If he really looked he’d be able to see the insincerity pouring from her.

 

But that had always been the problem. Clark never truly saw her. She was his best friend. She was his sidekick. But she’d never be the one thing she wished for the most.

 

The girl he loved.   

The End. 

And on a completely different note, they are reporting that the Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin died, which has me seriously bummed out. I just sort of can't believe it, I've watched him for what feels like forever, my mother just adores him, and he seemed like such a nice, genuinely cool guy. And his poor family. Too sad.